Wedding Traditions in Thailand — All the Cultural Details
Traditionally, Thai wedding traditions imply a series of essential smaller ceremonies. Each of these celebrates integral parts of the Thai culture and is filled with deep symbolic meaning. The couple does not practically exchange vows as you would find in a Western wedding ceremony.
However, there’s certainly no shortage of heartfelt moments and cheers brought to life as the couple gets united on their wedding day. The traditional marriage customs discussed here are meant to bless the couple in a variety of special ways.
Though it’s not considered a particularly religious event, a Thai wedding will generally feature Thai Buddhist monks and other religious elders.
To make the marriage official from a legal standpoint, Thai couples typically apply for marriage registration. This can even be done on a separate day.
Thai Marriage Proposals: Process Step-by-Step
The most important part of any Thai wedding is the arrangement made between the parents of the couple. This tradition has been held firmly to this day in most parts of the world where you will find Thai couples getting married.
It all starts when a boy finds a girl he’d like to settle down with. He first seeks the permission and approval of his parents. Thereafter, the actual marriage negotiations take place. The groom’s parents visit and speak to the girl’s parents.
They basically ask for their daughter's hand on behalf of their son. At the same meeting, the traditional sum of the dowry, or Sin Sod, is also finalized.
Setting a Wedding Date and Sending out Invitations
Once both families have agreed to marry the couple, it's time to fix a date for the wedding. However, it's not as simple as deciding on a date which fits into everyone's busy schedule.
Thai people in many parts of the world place great importance on Astrology, and they have done so for centuries. So a monk is called in to help determine the best possible date for the perfect wedding day.
It is believed that the specific day, when chosen carefully, will incur special blessings on the couple for years to come.
Then comes the task of issuing invitations to friends and family. In keeping with tradition, it's better that these are given to the family members in person. Nowadays a single invitation is usually enough. And all ceremony proceedings can be easily carried out in one day.
But depending on how many of the various ceremonies the couple is going to be hosting, they might want to hand out separate invites for each individual part of the wedding.
Thai Wedding Traditions: Dress Culture
A traditional Thai bridal outfit is quite an elaborate garment, often made of six separate pieces, to be worn over the course of the wedding. The groom’s outfit is also very stylish usually crafted entirely in silk for both the top and pants.
In the modern age, however, couples choose to omit this extensive attire for the familiar white dress code of a Western wedding. Some grooms will probably still do the old school pants as Thai society would expect them to. But from the waist up it’s all a suit and tie affair.
‘Khan Maak’ — The Traditional Thai Engagement Ceremony
When it comes to Thai weddings, the modern trend is both the engagement and the actual wedding are carried out on the same day.
The engagement includes a procession where the groom has to basically traverse some distance in order to collect his bride to be. In the old days, this would often start at the groom's house and end at the home of the bride.
He is typically accompanied by his dearest ones who amplify the atmosphere by singing songs and playing music along the way. Everyone brings along special items which carry deeper positive messages. For instance, coins, flowers, and Betel nuts — each element is a symbol of health, success, and longevity respectively. Many of the groom's party also bring along fruit and sweetmeats.
In order to uphold this tradition, modern couples will reenact this procession by starting off at a location which is convenient and located nearby. This way the shorter procession continues easily on to the actual wedding venue of choice.
The Groom’s Journey To Claiming His Bride
The groom’s work is not over once he reaches the bride’s place. Now he has to overcome the trial of claiming his bride. This Standing in his way the groom will have to contend with getting through special gated which are adorned with gold trimmings.
These gates are usually surrounded by family members of the bride, a host of bride's maids, and prettily dolled up children. In many cases, the groom now has to literally bribe his way in — by paying the gate holders a sum of money. To make it even more challenging he may be asked to sing a particular song or perform a special test to prove his love. All these endeavors bring a fun flavor of romance and chivalry to the wedding day's proceedings.
The Bride To Be Is Finally Presented
When the groom passes all the gates he is finally given permission to collect his bride. She is waiting for him alone in a dedicated room where guests are not allowed to enter. The groom enters the room only to find it empty.
His bride is then ceremoniously brought out to him from a locked room by her parents. Thus, the couple is brought together for the first time on their wedding day.
‘Sinsod’ — the Traditional Thai Dowry as Paid by the Groom
Now that he has the girl by his side he has to fulfill the Sinsod (Dowry) before the remaining ceremonies can take place. He presents a decorated tray containing the agreed amount of money together with other presents to the bride's parents.
But it's the mother of the bride who is honored by having all the items off the tray wrapped in silk and handed to her. She now acknowledges the generosity of the groom by showing off how heavy the parcel is. This prevailing custom continues to take place even in present times.
‘Sai Monkhon’ — Bringing the Couple Together by the Joining of Thread
Now comes the most beautiful ceremony of all, which is a part of the Thai wedding. The couple kneels or sits next to each other. They place their hands stretched out as though in prayer across a table.
A respected elder of one of the families now places a special headdress known as the Mong Kol on both the bride and groom. This headdress is joined by a single thread of cotton and is prayed upon by monks beforehand.
The couple continues to wear this for the entire ceremony. This ‘joining' of the couple signifies their permanent union in life and marriage. The thread which binds the couple together is looped twice over.
This is meant to signify that both independence and unity have now become one. One the one hand the couple appreciates the bonding of their two destinies. And on the other, they are each still able to express their individuality.
‘Rod Nam Sang’ — the Shell Ceremony
The shell ceremony takes place immediately following the joining of the thread. The couple remains seated in the same position as before. At this point, each of the guests will have a chance to engage directly with the couple. The guests each, in turn, pour water over the joined hands of the couple.
They also take this opportunity to congratulate them with special prayers, sharing of tips and best wishes. A basket is set nearby where each guest can leave personal gifts for the couple.
Traditionally sea water or holy water is used for this ceremony and the pouring is done with a ‘Sang’, or as it’s known in English, a conch shell.
What Happens after the Traditional Thai Wedding Ceremony Is Completed
Once the shell ceremony is completed, it's time for all the guests to settle into some good old frivolity and merrymaking. This is a part close to a modern wedding reception, when meals are typically served.
In most Thai weddings, this is also a stage where you will discover that Thai people love to engage in games and sing in karaoke. A dedicated master of ceremonies is elected from the bride’s closest friends. Family members can now also come up and share their feelings with the married couple in front of all the guests.
Essential Thai Bridal Bed Traditions
When the party side of the wedding comes to an end, the couple is then shown to their bedroom. Here the couple will find very special items already laid out on the bed. These are then explained by an older couple that serves as an example of a long and lasting marriage.
Each of the items is placed beforehand on a tray and the bed is covered with flower petals. They are usually made of familiar carved figures and trinkets found in Thai culture. Here they represent symbolic ingredients which are essential for a successful and happy marriage:
- Prosperity — A bag of seeds
- Harmony — A bowl of water
- Comfort — A sleeping cat
- Waking up early — A rooster
- Marital Bliss — An unripe squash
- Intense Love — A mortar
- Long Life — A walking cane
The couple is traditionally required to keep these items in their bed for a period of three days. Once important advice and teachings are shared with the couple they are finally left alone. This is meant to encourage them to consummate their marriage and start a family of their own.
Thai Wedding Traditions Popular Around The World
All over Thailand, wedding traditions are interpreted in different ways. And in some parts, the crossover with Chinese culture is also easily noticed. These days many couples also like to integrate influences they have learned from western cultures.
Having said that, the marriage traditions we have discussed in this article still remain the most widespread. You will find many of the mentioned ceremonial aspects celebrated in Western countries as well. Couples will vary the proceedings on their special day by including or leaving out parts of the traditional Thai wedding as they see fit.
Regardless of the theme, whether by mixing traditional with modern or by the uniting of different cultures, a Thai wedding promises to be a splendid and joyous occasion. The core values of joining hearts and families will leave a memorable impact on your life.